157. Problems fall into 3 areas ; (1) Direct control - problems involving own behavior (2) Indirect control - problems involving other's behavior (3) No control - problems we can do nothing about e.g., past or situational realities. Changine your habits, changing your methods of influence, and seeing an event for what it is is within your realm of influence. 158. In choosing our response to circumstance , we powerfully affect our circumstance. When we change one part of the chemical formula, we change the natur of the results. 159. People swing from Win-lose inconsideration to lose-win indulgence. when they can't stand confusion lack of direciton, structure, expectation, discipline, they swing back to win-lose until guilt undermines their resolve. driving them back to lose-win until anger/frustration drives them back to win-lose. 160. The extent to which you begin with the end in mind determines whether you can create a successful enterprise. Failures begin in the initialization. Undercapitalization, misunderstanding the market or lack of a business plan. 161. The leaders is the one who climbs the tallest tree, surveys the situation and yells out "wrong jungle!" But how do the busy , efficient producers and managers often respond : "Shut up! We're making progress!" 162. (1) Imagination : visualized uncreated worlds of potential within us. (2) conscience : contact universal laws or principles with our own singular talents and avenues of contribution. and with the personal guidelines with which we can most effectively develop them. combined with self-awareness these allow us to create our own script. 163. Many think success in one area can compensate for failure in another. Can it? Can success in profession compensate for broken marraige, ruined health, weakness in personal character? True effectiveness needs balance. 164. Many say they have lack of discipline, more correctly their priorities have not become deeply planted within their hearts and minds. They attempt to give priority to important but not urgent activities and integrate them via self-discipline alone. without a principle center or mission statement people don't have the necessary foundation to sustain their efforts. They work on the leaves (attitudes and behaviors) without looking at the roots (basic paradigms, mission statement) 165. The popularity of reacting to the urgent but unimportant priorities of other people or the pleasure of escaping to unimportant activities will threaten to overpower the important activities you have planned. Your principle center, consciousness and conscience provide a high degree of intrinsic security guidance and wisdom to empower you to use your independent will and maintain integrity to the truly important. 166. Think effectiveness with people, efficiency with things. Being efficient with a disagreeing person doesn't work. 167. People are tender, sensitive inside. Within the most toughened callous exteriors are the tender emotions and feelings of the heart. That's why in relationships the little things are the big things. 168. If takes character to apologize quickly out of one's heart than through pity. One must possess himself and have deep security in fundamental principles and values to genuinely apologize. 169. Ecology it's in the integration of the 7habits that power is maximized. 170. Don't be scripted in Scarcity Mentality : limits, If someone got the biggest piece that's less for everyone else. Zero sum paradigm of life. Essetnail to win-win is abundance mentality. 171. Empathic listening takes time , but less time to do correctly now than to fix later. Give people psychological air. 172. When you can present your own ideas clearly, contextually, specifically visually, in the context of a deep understanding , of another person's paradigms and concerns you significantly increase the credibility of your ideas. 173. Spend time with your children 1 on 1. Listen to them. understand them. look at problems , challenges they face, through their eyes, build up an emotional bank account, give them air. 174. when you communicate synergetically you open your mind to new possibilities, options and you're not sure how it will turn out, but you have an inward sense of excitement , security adventure believing it will be significantly better than before. And that is the end you have in mind. 175. Character ethic is based on the fundamental idea that there are principles that govern human effectiveness. Natural laws in the human dimension natural laws that are just as real just as unchanging as gravity. 176. Intrinsic security doesn't come from what others think of us, or how they treat us. It doesn't come from our circumstances or position. It comes from within. It comes from accurate paradigms and correct principles. It comes from inside-out congruence from living a life where our daily habits reflect our deepest values. 177. The law of the harvest governs , we will always reap what we sow no more, no less. The law of justice is immutable, and the closer we align ourselves with correct principles the better our judgement will be about how the world operates. and the more accurate our paradigms (our maps of the territory) will be. 178. Moving up a spiral requires us to learn , commit, and do on increasingly higher planes. We decieve ourselves if we think any one of these is sufficient. To progress we must learn, commit and do. 179. (cross realm correspondences) Paradigm shifts move us from one way of seeing the world to another. Whether evolutionary/revolutionary, positive or negative. Our paradigms are the sources of our attitude and behavior and our relationships with others. 180. The more accurately our paradigms are aligned with natural laws the more accurate and functional they will be. Correct maps will infinitely impacto ur personal and interpersonal effectiveness far more than any amount of effort expended on changing our attitudes and behaviors. 181. A thousand mile journey begins with the first step can only be taken one step at a time. 182. Borrowing strength builds weakness. It bulds weakness in the borrower because it reinforces dependence on external factors to get things done. It builds weakness in the person forced to acquiesce, stunting the development of independent reasoning, growth and internal discipline. It builds weaknessi n the relationship. Fear replaces cooperation, and both people become more arbitrary and defensive. 183. There must be a seminary to help me deal with stress. But is efficiency not the answer? Is getting more things done in less time the answer or just increase the pace at which I react to people and circumstances that control my life? There is a deeper more fundamental view I can see my time, life and nature. 184. Holding people to the responsible ocurse is not demeaning it is affirming. Proactivity is part of human nature. Though proactive muscles may be dormant they exist. Respect the proactive nature of others, we provide a clear , undistorted reflection from the social mirror. 185. Love is what you do, giving and sacrifices. Love is actualized through loving actions. 186. Reactive people focus on events. Negative energy caused by neglect in areas they should be focusing in decreased their circle of influence. Proactive people focus on things they can do something about. Positive , enlargening, magnifying energy increases their circle of influence. 187. Direct control problems (those under our own behavior) are solved by working on our habits Indirect control problems are solved by working on methods of influence. 30 methods of human influence including : empathy, persuasion, example, confrontation, fight flight. 188. Nature of reactive people to absolve selves of responsibility. Easy to say "I'm not responsible" Tough to say I have power tochoose my response and the response choosen has resulted in a negative, collusive environment, 189. To improve situation - work on the one thing you which you have control over -yourself. 190. Develop your own self-awareness, become responsible for first creations. empower other people and circumstances outside our circle of influence to shape our lives by default. 191. once you have a sense of mission you have you have the essence of your own proactivity. You have the vision and values which direct your life. You have the direction from which to set your long and short-term goals. you have the power of a written constitution based on correct principles, against which every deicsion concerning the most effective use of your time , your talents , and your energies can be most effectively measured. 192. You are always saying no to something. If it isn't to the apparent urgent things in your life. It is to the more important highly fundamental things. Even when the urgent is good, the good can keep you from your best. It can keep you from your unique contribution if you let it. 193. Self awareness to examine your own unique principle centered program allows you to say yes. then you can have the sufficient independent willpower to say "no" to the unimportant. 194. While you can think in terms of efficiency in dealing with time, a principle centered person thinks in efficiency in dealing with priorities often to the subordination of schedules 195. when you step from independence to interdependence you step into a leadership role. in the position to influence others,. The habit of effective interpersonal leadership is Think win-win. 196. If you can't reach win-win you're better off with no deal. 197. When people are given a chance to open up, they unravel their own problems and solutions become clear to them in the process. 198. Until we take how we see ourselves into account we can't see how others thake themselves into account. Unaware we will project our intentions on their behavior and call ourselves objective. 199. When we deeply understand each other we open the door to creative solutions and the third alternative. Our differences are no longer stumbling blocks to communication and progress. They become stepping stones to synergy. 200. You had someone believein you when you didn't believe in yourself. they scripted you. What if you were the positive scripter of someone else? 201. Albert Einstein said "The significant problem we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. 202. The inside out approach says if you want to have a strong relationship sidestepping negative energy vs empowering it, more freedom more lattitude in your job, more responsible , helpful , contributing, If you want recognized talent focus first on greateness of character. 203. Character is composite of our habits. consistent unconscious patterns constantly daily express our character, and produce our effectivenes 204. Workign on knowledge skill and desire, We can break through to new levels of personal and interpersonal effectiveness. as we break old paradigms. 205. Independence of character allows us to act vs being acted upon. Frees us from our dependence on circumstances and others and is a worthy liberating goal. 206. P/PC Balance = EFfectiveness. P = production of desired results (golden eggs) PC production capability abilty or assets that make the golden eggs. 207. You can buy a person's hand but you can't buy his heart. His heart is where is enthusiasm , his loyalty is. You can buy his back but you can't buy his brain. That's where the creatvitiy, inginuity, and resourcefullness is. 208. Excessive focus on P (Production) results in ruined health, worn out machines, broken bank accounts, and broken relationships. Excessive focuson PC (Production capacity) is like a person who runs 3-4 hours a day. bragging about the extra ten years of life it creates, unaware that he's spending them running. or a person endlessly going tos chool, never producing, living on other people's golden eggs. the eternal student syndrome. 209. You are not your habits. You can replace old patterns of self- defeating behavior with new patterns, new habits of effectiveness. hapiness and trust based relationships. Open the gate of change and growth. 210. sometimes the most proactive things we can do it to be happy. just smile. Hapinessnes like unhappiness is a proactive choice. 211. Our behavior is governed by principles. Living in harmony with them brings positive consequences. violating them brings negative consequences. We are free to choose our response in any situation. in doing so we choose the attendant consequence. "When we pick up one end of the stick we pick up the other" 212. Its not what others do or even our own mistakes that hurt us the most. it is our response to those things. Chasing after the poisonous snake that bites us will only drive the poison through our entire system. It is far better to tkae measures to immediately get the poison out. 213. It is in the ordinary events of every day that we develop the proactive capacity to handle the extraordinary pressures of life. It's how we make and keep commitments. how we handle a traffic jam, how we respond to an irate customer, disobediant child, It show we view our problems and focus our energy. 214. We are responsible for our own effectiveness for our own hapiness and ultimately for most of our circumstances. 215. Test the principle for 30 days and see what happens. Make small commitments and keep them. Be a light not a judge. Be a model not a critic. Be a part of the solution not a part of the problem. 216. Principles always have natural consequences attached to them. Positive consequences when we live in harmony with the principles. Negative consequences when we ignore them. This applies to everyone it is universal. The more we know of correct principles, the greater our personal freedom to act wisely. 217. From a principle centered paradigm, you won't be acted upon by other people or circumstances. You are proactively choosing what you detemine to be the best alternative. You make your decision consciously and knowledgably. 218. You paradigm is the sourcef rom which your attitudes and behavior flow. A paradigm is like a filter it affects the way you see the world. See the world under the paradigm of correct principles 219. A principle centered person sees, acts, think differently. You have a high degree of security, wisdom, and guidance. and power that flows from a solid unchanging core. you have the foundation for a highly proactive effective life. 220. No involvement , No commitment !! 221. We delegate everything to time or people Think efficiency if delegating to time Think effectiveness if delegating to people 222. People hesitate to delagate to people (napolean syndrome) But it is the most powerful high leverage activity there is. 223. Interdependence is a choice only Independent people can make. Unless we are willing to achieve independence, its foolish to develop relational skills. Need a solid foundation when difficult times come. 224. You can't have the fruits without the roots. Principle of sequencing : private victory precedes public victory. Self - mastery and self- discipline ar ethe foundation to good relationships with others. 225. What we are. Superficien human-relations techniques (personality ethic) vs innor core (character ethic) they'll sense duplicity. 226. For win-win to work cooperation is key. The training, planning, communication , budgeting and compensation system. All have to be based on win-win principle. 227. Nature is interdependent so are human societies. 228. Whatever is at the center of our life will be the source of our security, guideance, wisdom and power. 229. Idealy there is harmony, unity and integrity between your vision and mission. your roles and goals, your priorities and plans, your desires and discipline, Refer constantly to your mission statement. and short-term and long-term goals. 230. Stewardship delegation gives people choice of method makes them responsible for results. Clear, up-front mutual understanding. Takes more time in the beginning but it's time well invested because you can increase your leverage. 231. If our emotional bank acocunt is high , credibility isn't an issue. We're focused on the issues not the personalities or positions. Trust fosters trying to understand allows synergy and the 3rd alternative. 232. It's more ennobling to let people judge themselves than to judge them. In a high-trust culture it's more accurate. In their hearts people know much better how things are going than the records show. Discernment is more accurate than observation or measurement. 233. Win-win focuses on results releasing human potential, synergy, production capability, instead of focusing on production 234. Synergy can create a script to service and contribution, open ,trusting ,giving vs protective adversarial , selfish, defensive, protective , political possessive, judgemental. 235. Empathic listening - patience, openness, desire to understand. 236. Understand and integrate deep principles : TS ELiot : "we must not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began , and to know the place for the first time." 237. Principle of sequencing : private victory precedes public victories you can't invert that process any more than you can reap before sowing. 238. Respect P/PC balance, in physical assets in organizations, you'll increase effetiveness 239. Our response to a mistake affects the quality of the next moment. It's important to immediately admit and correct our mistakes so they have no power over the next moment, and we are empowered again. 240. Be pateitn with yourself. SElf-growth is tender. There is no greater investement. 241. We are limited but can push the border with the principle : the more learn the more we can focus the lens by which we see the world. The principles don't change our understanding of them does. 242. A principle centered person stands apart from the emotion of the situation. from nonsequitur facts, and evaluates options. Looking at the balanced whole. and alterantive decisions, coming up with optimal solutions given all factors 243. If you're proative you don't have to wait for circumstances or other people to create perspective expanding experiences. you can consciously create your own. #244. Personal leadership is continuously keeping your vision and values before you aligning your life with those most important things. You will naturally integrate your personal mission statement into your life on a daily basis. An application of : Begin with the End in Mind. 245. A mission statement - which reflects the deep shared vision and values of everyone creates great unity and commitment. It creates in peoples hearts and minds a frame of reference. a set of criteria and guidelines. which they govern themselves. The don't need anotherdirecting, controlling , criticizing or taking cheap shots. They bring into a changeless core of what an organization is about. 246. You can't be successful with other people if you haven't paid the price of success with yourself. ` 247. You can't talk your way out of problems you behave yourself into. 248. Win-win negotiation technique, Reflective listening, creative problem solving through vital character base and personality. effective interdependence through independence. 249. Public victory = Success in effective interaction bringing mutually beneficial results to all. Working, communicating , making things happen together unachieveable independently. An outgrowth of abundance mentality. 250. Traditional Evaluation games people play are exhausing and awkward. In win-win people evaluate themselves using criteria they setup 251. Win-win is a total paradigm of human interaction. From a character of integrity, maturity and abundance mentality. Grows from high-trust relationships. Embodied in agreements that clarify and manage expectations and accomplishments. Thrives in supportive systems achieved through empathic communication and synergy. 252. As we examine our scripts carefully. We'll see powreful positive scripted handed to us which we've taken for granted. Self-awareness is appreciating those scripts, the people, principle based living in realizing our full potential. 253. Longfellow : "many men do not allow their principles to take root, but pull them up every now and then, as children do flowers to see if they are growing." 254. Principles apply at all times in all places. They surface in the form of norms, values, ideas, teachings that uplift, ennoble, empower , fulfill and inspire. To the degree that people ahve operated in harmony with correct principles they have prospered. 255. Law of harvest in long term human relationships : first impressions via charm, win through intimidation, but integrity and fundamental character strength true motives will eventually surface and human relationships will fail. 256. The key to effective communication is 1-on-1 relationship. We change the nature of our communication with them. we build trust and confidence in each other. 257. Principle centered -> abundance mentality. -> Love to share power, profit, recognition, -> more we are genuinely happy for success , well-being , achievements recognition and good fortune of others. Their success adds to vs detracts from our lives. 258. The key to a total quality organization is a total quality person who uses the true north compass that is objective and external that reflects natural laws or principles, as opposed to values that are subjective and internal. 259. Character and skilldevelopment is a process of ongoing improvement and progresion. a constant upward spiral. Total integrity around your value system. part of that value system means youare always getting better. personally and professionaly. 260. Win-win thinking creates teamwork. Win-lose thinking creates rivalry. 261. Happiness can be defines, as the fruit of the desire and ability to sacrifice what we want now for what we want eventually. 262. Much of our current emphasis to independence is is a reaction to dependence. to have others define us, use us, control us, and manipulate us. The little understood concept of interdependence appears to be dependence. 263. The essence of effectiveness is to balance P/PC Golden egg (production) and health and welfare of the goose (production capability) 264. Always treat your employees as you want them to treat your best customers. 265. PC is treating your employees as volunteers, just as you treat customers as volunteers. They volunteer the best part their heart and mind. 266. Take the inside out appraoch within 48 hours of learning something share it with another. You wil remember what you read, perspective expanded, understanding deepened, motivation to apply increased. 267. reactive : "That's me , that's just the way I am" (I'm deterministic nothing I can do about it) "I just don't have the time" (something external - time - is controlling me) "If only my wife were more patient"( someone else's behavior is limiting me ) "I have to do it" (circumstances or others are forcing me) 268. No control problems take responsibilty to genuinely and peacefully accept these problems and learn to live with them. even though we don't like them. We do not allow these problems to control us. "Develop the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference" 269. As proactive people we can carry our own physical or social weather with us. we can be happy and accept those things that are present and which we can't control, while we focus our efforts on the things we can. 270. At the heart of our circle of influence is our ability to make and keep commitments. The commitments to selves and others. The integrity to those commitments is essence and clearest manifestation f proactivity. 271. Look at weakness with compassion not accusation. It's not what they're not doing or should be doing that the issue, The issue is your own chosen response to the situation what what you should be doing. If you start to think the problem is out there , stop yourself. That's the problem. 272. Security and clear guidance bring true wisdom releasing direct power. When they harmonize they create a Noble personality, beautifully integrated individual, balanced character 273. If sense of security lies in my reputation or the thing I have my life will be in a state of constant jeapardy - a fear that these possessions be lost , stolen or devalued. If I'm in the precesce of someone of greatre net worth or fame, or status I feel inferior. If I'm in the precense of someone of less ... I feel superior. My sense of self worth constantly fluctuates.. I don't have any constancy , anchorage or selfhood. I'm constantly trying to protecta nd insure my assets, properties , securities, position, or reputation. 274. To focus on making money as a center will bring about its own undoing. 275. To seek some abstract meaning to our lives out in our circle of concern is to abdicate our proactive responsibility. to place our own first creation in the hands of circumstances and other people. 276. As you go deep in yousefl and align basic paradigms with correct principles, creating an effective, empowering center and a clear filter to view the world. we can then tune the filter to show how we relate to that world 277. World class performers are visualizers. They see, feel, experience it before they do it. They begin with the end in mind. See if clearly , vividly , relentlessly over and over again. An internal comfort zone, When you get into the situation it doesn't scare you. 278. Effective personal leadership entails visualization and affirmation techniques, that emerge out of a foundation of well thought through principles and purposes that are the center of a person's life. They are powerful in rescripting and reprogramming . Writing deeply commited to purposes and principles into on'es heart and mind. 279. Writing your missions statement in terms of the important roles in your life gives you balance and harmony. It keeps each role clearly before you. You can review your roles frequently to distribute attention to your important roles. 280. We can't fake a fall harvest, we can't dream up a haystack. Cause and consequencea re inseparable and inevitable. 281. The more genuine the involvement the more sustained the participation in analyzing and solving problems. the greater the release of everyone's creativity and of their commitment to what they create. 282. You can be synergistic with yourself in an adversarial environment. You don't have to take insults personally. You can sidestep negative energy. You can look for an utilize the good in others. to imporve your point of view and enlargen your perspective. 283. Personality ethic - Get rich quick is symbol without substance. 284. If you don't have confidence in the diagnosis you won't have confidence in the prescription. 285. Have you ever invaded principle to increase your standard of living to get more golden eggs? The decreasing principle has decreasing power to produce interest or income and the dweindling capital becomes smaller and smaller until it no longer supplies even basic needs. 286. People who are effective has the humility and reverence to recognize their own limitations and to appreciate the rich resources available through interpersonal interactions. 287. when people seriously understake to identify what really matters most to them in their lives what they really want to be and do - they become reverent. They start to think in larger terms than today and tomorrow. 288. Imagination can be used to visualize "what's in it for me" but a higher use is harmony with the use of conscience to transcend self and create a life of contribution based on unique purpose and on the principles that govern interdependent reality. 289. An effective goal focuses on results rather than activity. It identifies where you want to be and in the process helps you determine where you are. It gives you information on how to get there, and tells you whan you have arrived. It unifies your efforts and energies. It gives meaning and purpose to all you do. 290. You can't always know in advance what's truly important. There will be times as a principle centered person where you need to subordinate your schedule to a higher value. 291.Real self-respect comes from dominion over self. from true independence. 292. Our most constant relationships require our most constant deposits into our emotional bank account. with continuing expectations old deposits evaporate requiring constant investment 293. Maturity is the blanace between courage and consideration. a person who can express their feelings and convictions with courage, balanced with consideration for the feelings of others. 294. If acto n principles you empower everyone who understands those principles to act without constant monitoring evaluating, correcting, controlling. Principles have universal application, internalized into habits, they empower people to create variegrated practices/processes/methods 295. Admission of ignorance is a first step in our education 296. Law of the harvest asks us to regularly rest, renew and reflect before the next harvest. 297. A life of integrity is the most fundamental source of personal worth.