HABIT 2 : Begin with the End in Mind
1. Center on unchanging principles, A paradigm of effective living a center centering all other perspectives
2. True master is paying the price day in and day out. Don't focus on
technique, this is like cramming.
3. The map is not the territory,, only an explanation of parts of it.
One can look at paradigms from experience or conditioning,
they are only a subjective reality trying to describe the territory
4. To make minor changes focus on behavior or attitude,
to make major changes focus on basic paradigms.
5. Principles are not values. Theives can share values, but in
violation of fundamental principles. Principles are the territory.
Values of maps. When we value principles we have the truth -
a knowledge of things as they are.
6. Inside-Out approach : Start with inner self - paradigms, character
7. private victories over public . Make and keep promises to self
over others. Dont put personality afore character, Improve relationships
vs improving ourselves.
8. Gravity pull = powerful force. Use gravity pull of habit to create
cohesiveness and order to establish effectiveness in our lives.
9. 7 habits create integrated approach to personal growth
10. Basis of a character an empowering center of correct maps.
As you live your values, your sense of identity , integrity, control,
innerdirectedness will infuse you with exhilaration and peace, You'll
define yourself from within. Careing less about what others think of
12. Happiness like unhappiness is a proactive choice
13. Proactive = responsible for our own lives. Behavior is a
function of decision not condition. Subordinate feelings to values.
Take initiative to make things happen.
14. Begin with the end in mind. Start day with deepest values in mind.
as vicissitudes / challenges come make decision from those values.
15. Personal mission statement based on correct principles= personal
constitution. Basis of making major life directing decisions. Basis
of making daily decisions in midst of circumstances and emotion.
16. The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule but
to schedule your priorities.
17. The key is not to manage our time , but to manage ourselves.
"Time management " is a misnomer.
18. Weekly organization = put first things first. shift appointments,
handle unanticipated events. proactive organization to accomplish
key goals in every area of life.
19. Few minutes each morning to review schedule.
20. When you defend those absent you gain the trust of those present.
21. Win-win attitude life is a cooperatvie not competitive arena.
22. Abundance mentality, There is plenty enough for everyone.
sharing of prestige , recognition, profits and decision making.
It opens possibilities, options , alternatives and creativity.
"Seek first to understand. We typically seek for to be understood.
Most people do not listen with the intent to understand.
they listen with the intent to reply. They're speaking or preparing to
24. Empathetic listening - listen for feeling, meaning, behavior.
25. Synergy = Value differences respect them, build on strengths
and compensate for weaknesses.
26. Habit 7: Sharpen the saw is the personal production capability.
Preserving and enhancing your gratest asset - you. Renewing your
4 fundamental natures : physical , spiritual, social, mental
27. No one can persuade another to change. Each of us guards a gate
of change that can only be open from inside. If you live the 7 habits the
grwoth is evolutionary, net effect revolutionary.
28. You decide how circumstances affect you.
Stimulus, event, response your power is to choose that response.
29. To change situation, change self, first change perceptions
30. What we are communicates far mor eloquently than what we say
31. Mental maps : (1) Maps of way things are (realities)
(2) Maps of way things should be (values)
The way we see the problem is the problem.
33. Anytime you think the problem is out there that thought
is the problem.
34. Immediate control of lives : (1) Make a promise and keep it
(2) Set a goal and work to achieve it. Keeping commitments,
establish inner integrity. Gives cascade inner integrity,
self control and courage/strength.
35. Can't live with change unless you have changeless core.
Key to ability to change is a changeless sense of who you are
what you are about and what you value.
36. Principle centered : understand your paradigms and how to
shift them to your principles.
Must have vision and focus on your contribution that is yours to make.
37. Leadership is deciding what first things are, management
is putting first things first. Follow through.
38. Keeping a commitment is deposit into emotional bank account,
breaking one is withwrawal.
39. Win-Win is not my way your way, but a better/higher way.
40. winwin must be courageous, confident , empathic, considerate,
sensitive, brave, : balance courage and consideration true maturity.
41. See people as they're unseen potential.
42. Trapped in management paradigm : control , efficiency , rules
vs direction, purpose , family feeling.
43. Sharpening the saw : self investment, the only
instrument we have to deal with life and contribute.
44. Quality culture -> Quality goods. Trust and Trust worthiness.
No quick fix, can't fake it, pay the price. return to enduring values
to which to base enduring successes.
45. Character ethic = basic principles of effective living.
integrate it into life.
46. We assume the way we see things is the way they should be,
These assumptions shapes our attitudes and behaviors.
47. Paradigm is lens by which we see world. Paradigm shift
is the power of change.
48. Education is vital mental renewal
49. We are not our feelings we are our moods. Self-awareness
lets us see ourselves, our self-paradigms. affects attitude
behavior is our map of man's nature.
50. family core is changless by writing down mission statement
you express its foundation (shared vision and values)
51. self discipline is a function of inner will. you follow
own deep values. you have the will to subordinate your
feelings , impulses, moods to those values.
52. Tendencay is to project out what we think other
people want or need. If they shrug off we tend to give up.
53. Clarify expectations : easy to ignore let fate handle it, tough
to arrive at mutually agreeable set of expectations.
54. Monitor environmental change, consumer habits to
stay on top of marketplace.
55. When you have "no deal" as an option, you have no need to
manipulate, push your ideas,, agenda, drive for what you want. you
can understand deeper issues underlying their position.
56. Maturity = balance courage and consideration. Courage to voice own
convictions, consideration to for feelings/convictions of another.
57. Seek to understand, open free flow of communication, drops barriers
giver person psychological aire. opens soul-to-soul flow. Trust with
innermost thoughts, not thinking one thing saying another.
58. As you empathic listen you will see a vast set of perceptual
59. An emotional bank account is a symbol of trust that has been built
up in a relationship. If make deposits in another's account trust grows.
60. Expanding your mind = expand your perspective. Involve as
amny senses, feelings and emotions as you can.
61. Authenticity provokes genuine expression. In experiences, self-doubts,
feedback loop producing learning, excitement, insight.
62. Keep a journal of your thoughts. experiences, insights, learning,
promotes mental clarity, exactness and context. Write about
thoughts ,feelings, ideas vs superficial events. Affects our ability
to think, reason and be understood.
63. Importance has to do with results. If something is important
is contributes to your mission , your values, your high prioity
goals, But if we don't have a clear idea of what's important, of
the results we desire in our lives, we are easily diverted into
responding to the urgent.
64. The deepest hunger for the human soul is to be understood.
The deepest hunger for the human body is for air. Listen to
antoher person in depth until they feel understood the
equivalent of mental air.
65. A flawed character (duplicity, incincerity) taints
trust - misread as manipulation.
66. Can't cram on a farm. Natural system. The price must be paid
and the process followed. You reap what you sow. No short cuts.
67. We think we are objective that we see things as they are, but
we see things are we are as we are conditioned to see it.
68. Man has the freedom to choose stimulus and response. Within
freedom to choose are humanness : self-awareness, imagination,
conscience, independent will,
69. Effective people are not problem minded they are opportunity
minded They feed opportunities, starve problems.
70. Begin today with the image, picture, paradigm, of the end of
your life as your frame of refference or the criterion by which
everything else is examined. By keeping that end clearly in mind,
you can make certain that whatever you do on any particular day
doesn't violate the criterion you have defined as supremely
important. and that each day of your life contributes in a meaninful way to
the vision you have of your life as a whole.
71. Things are created twice. Mentally then physically. Blueprint
then mortar and brick.Pull out blueprint marching orders for the
day Begin with the end in mind.
72. We need vision(destination) and a compass(set of principles or
directions) and less in need of a road map. The terrain ahead is
uncertain, the path decided depends on our judgement, an inner
compass provides direction.
73. Independent will makes self-management possible. Ability to make
decisions and choices and act on them. Empowerment is the
ability to use choice every day.
74. You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have
the courage to say "no" to other things. Accomplish this by havng
a bigger yes inside. The enemy of the best is often the good.
75. Emotional bank account - just listen. seek to understand.
without judging or preaching, or reading your own autobiography.
76. Conflicting or ambiguous expectations around goals and roles,
Unclear expectations lead to misunderstanding , disappointment and
withdraw of trust.
77. Win-lose thnking is competitive, low-trust situations.
If both people are winning both are losing.
78. When 2 win-lose (stubborn , ego-invested individuals ) interact
result is lose-lose. Both will be vindictive, both will want to
get even. revenge.
79. example, actual conduct is influence. your character is constantly
radiating, communicating. It modulates my trust in you.
80. Synergy is strong. The whole is greater than the parts.
1+1 = 3 or more.
81. Essence of synergy is to value differences. respect them
build on strengths compensate for weaknesses.
82. Sharpen saw - we are instruments of self performance, take
regular time to sharpen saw in mental,physical,social,spiritual
83. Proactivity : Act based on value of well-being.
instead of reacting to forces that keep you from exercising,
your paradigm of self, self-esteem, self-confidence and integrity will be profoundly affected.
84. We all have roots we all can pass on our roots and give the
85. Communication is a function of trust not technique. If trust
is high communication flows effortlessly. instantaneous and effective.
If not it is exhausting time consuming and walking around a minefield.
86. You can say "no" and smile only when there is a bigger "yes"
burning inside you.
87. Your principle center your self-awareness and your conscience
can provide a high degree of security guidance and wisdom , to
empower you to use your independent will , and maintain integrity
to the truly important.
88. The lens shapes how we filter the world.
89. Social miror = vision of ourselves. From the current
social paradigm and from opinion, perception , paradigms of
those around us.
90. Its easy to get caught up in the busyness of life. an
activity trap. To work harder and harder at climbing the ladder of
success only to realize it's leaning against the wrong wall.
91. If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall,
every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.
92. Mutual understanding creates respect affirmation, new options
93. Its how you treat the one that reveals how your regard the
94. Genuinity, Proactivity, win-win = influence on another person.
Transactional vs transformational leadership.
95. empathic listening gives psychological air.
If no air survival is only motivation.
You have air now, satisfied needs do not motivate.
psychological survival. to be understood affirmed, validated, appreciated.
96. Empathic listening is risky. you have to be willing to be
influenced, you become vulnerable, to influence you have to be
influenced. Yuu have to really understand.
97. self-confience is inner security . confident in your
own value system.
98. key to interpersonal synergy is intrapersonal synergy,
the synergy within ourselves. provides security to handle risks
of being open and vulnerable. Internalize principles , develop authenticity
can think win-win.
99. A great zen master had great serenity and peace no matter
what pressures he faced. How do you maintainthat serenity and
peace? I never leave my place of meditation. He carried his
medication in his mind and heart.
100. Communication is mutual understanding.
101. We create negative situations by assuming our expectations are self-
evident, that they are clearly understood and shared by all.
102. We more aware we are of our assumtive set, maps, paradigms,
and influence of experience the more we can take responsibility for
thos paradigms, examine them, test them vs reality. listen and be open to
their perceptions. thereby getting a larger vi\\picture and a far more
103. Many people experience a fundamental shift in thinking when
they face a life-threatening crisis. or when they suddenly step
into a new role ( husband, wife, parent, manager) and suddenly
see their priorities in a different light.
104. Principles are lighthouses. Natural laws not to be broken.
Impossible to break the law we can only break ourselves against
105. Principles are guidelines for human conduct proven to have enduring,
permanent value. fundamental , selfevident, unarguable, To grasp
self-evident nature imagine absurdity of living on their opposites.
106. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power - the
freedom to choose.
107. The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the
essence of a proactive person. Reactive people are
driven by circumstances, feelings, conditions , environment.
Proactive people are driven by their values, carefully thought
bout , selected and internalized values.
108. Difficult circumstances induce paradigm shifts - new frames of
reference by which people see the world -of what life is asking
of them. The larger perspective reflectes the attitudinal values
that lift and inspire us all.
109. First creation \= we are in the second creation of our own
proactive design or we are the second creation of other people's
agendas , of circumstances, or of past habits.
110. Bottom line Managemnt - how can I best accomplish this?
Leadership is top line : What are the things I want to accomplsih?
Management is efficienty of climbing ladder of success, leadership
determines whether ladder is leaning against correct wall.
111. Principles are bigger than people or circumstances.
We can validate them in our own lives by our own experiences.
112. As you openly , honestly share what you're learning with others,
negative labels other have for you disappear. Those you teach will
see you as a growing , changing person, inclined to be supportive.
113. Until a person can say deeply and honestly "I am what I
am today because of the choices I made yesterday" they
cannot say "I choose otherwise"
114. Trust is the highest human motivation.
Brings out the best, but it takes time and patience.
Need to train and develop people so their competency can
rise to the level of trust.
115. Independent will is measured by personal integrity.
Integrity is the value we place on ourselves. Ability to
keep commitments to ourselves "walk the talk" It's honor
with self character ethic, essence of proactive growth.
116. Essence of time managment : Organize and execute around
117. Rather than focus on things and time, focus on
preserving and enhancing relationships. and on accomplishing
118. really seek to understand. What is important to the other
person must be as important to you as the other person is to you.
119. The problem is often in the system not the people.
but good people in a bad system you get bad results.
120. One things to make a mistake , another not to admit it.
People forgive mistakes , because they're usually mental -
judgemental mistakes. People don't forgive ill intention,
bad motives, prideful ,justifying cover-up of the first mistake.
121. Win-win : performance agreements, partnership agreements,
vertical to horizontal, hovering supervision to self-supervision.
partners in success.
122. Empowerment traits :
Integrity - habits congruent with values, words with deeds,
expressions with feelings
Maturity - courage balanced with consideration. Abundance mentality
there is plenty for everyone.
123. Seeking to understand requires consideration, seeking to be
understood takes courage . Win-win requires
a high degree of both.
124. Synergy = valuing differences in people. Mental, social,p hysical.
Key to valuing differences is people see the world not as it is but
as they are.
125. When you only see 2 alternatives. Yours and the wrong one,
therer is a synergetic third solutiono, which is a win-win alternative.
if you really seek to understand you can find a solution which is
better for everyone concerned.
126. Most of us think we don't have time to exercise , what a distorted
paradigm! We don't have time not to. 3 hours impacts the other 165.
127. Extermelye important to train the mind to stand apart and
examine its own program. That is a liberal educaton. abiliyt ot examine
the programs of life against larger questions, purposes
and other paradigms. Training without such education narrows
and closes the mind so that assumptions underlying the training are
never examined. That's why it is so valuable to read broadly and expose yourself to great minds..
128. Peace of mind comes when your life is in harmony with true principles and
values no other way.
129. Being is seeing, what we see is interrelated with who we are.
You can't change what you see without simultaneously changing who you are.
130. Synergy is the whole being greater than the sum of the parts.
The mnost catalytic, unifying , empowering and exciting part.
131. The most effective way I know to begin with the end in mind is to
develop a personal mission statement , philosophy or creed. It focuses on
what you want to be (character) and tod o (contributions and
achievement). and on the values or principles upon which being and doing
are based. A personal mission statement will be unique in content and form since
individuals are unique.
132. Our paradigms are our source of attitudes and behaviors. We cannot act with integrity
out side of them . We cannot maintain wholeness if we walk and talk different than
what we see.
133. Proactive people carry their own weather with them. Whether it rains or shines it
makes no difference. They're value driven, if their value is to produce quality work,
it isn't a function of whether the weather is conducive or not.
134. There are 3 central values in life: (1) Experiential - that which happens to us
(2) Creative - that which we bring into existence (3) Attitudnal - our response in difficult
dituations. What matters most is how we respond to what we experience in life.
135. Business, communities, families can be proactive. Use creativity and proactive
individuals to create proactive culture.
136. Apologize for withdrawals from Emotional Bank account.
Deposits come from : "I was wrong." "That was unkind of me"
" I showed you no respect" "I gave you no dignity and I'm deeply sorry"
137. Unless I open up to you unless you understand me , and my unique situation and
feelings you won't know how to advise or counsel me. What you say is good and
fine but doesn't quite pertain to me.
138. How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important
to us. and keeping that picture in mind , we manage ourselves each day to be and
to do what really matters most.
139. Effectiveness (and survival) does not depend solely on how much effort we
expend but on whether or not the effort we expend is in the right jungle.
140. Efficient management without effective leadership is like straightening lawn chairs on the titanic.
141. In developing our self-awareness , we discover ineffective scripts:
deeply embedded habits that are unworthy of us. totally incongruent with what we
really value in life. We are responsable to use our imagination and
creativity to write new scripts effective and congruent with our deepest values
and with correct principles which give our values meaning.
142. When I make deposits into an Emotional Bank account through courtesy, kindness, commitment,
and honesty I build up a reserve. Your trust in me grows and I can call upon that trust.
I can make mistakes in that trust and the reserve will compoensate. My communication
may not be clear but you'll get my meaning anyway. When the trust account is high, communication
is easy, instant and effective.
143. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" = Understand them deeply as
individuals the way you would want to be understood , and then treat them in terms of that
144. Treat everyone by the same set of principles as you do this people will trust you.
Honest confrontational experiences. They want to take the path of least resistance,
belittling and criticizing, betraying confidences, or participating in gossip.
People will trust you if you are honest, open and kind to them.
145. Integrity mean avoiding guilding, deceptive, or dignity-less communication
A lie is any communication with the intent to deceive.
146. People with a win-lose mentality bury a lot of unexpressed feeling
of resentment, disappointment and disillusionment. Disproportionate anger,
overreaction to minor provocation, and cynicism are embodiments of suppressed
emotion. People who repress emotions vs transcending feelings towards a higher
meaning find that it affects their self-esteem and eventually their
quality of relationship with others.
147. Management = developing a win-win performance agreement. He is a pace
car, he gets things going and gets out of the way. They then just does
maintenance by cleaning up oil spills.
148. Well meaning advice is worthless if it isn't address the right problems.
You'll not get to the real problem if you're caught up in your own
reality, try to see the world from a different perspective.
149. Much negative energy typically expended when people try to make decisions
or solve problems in an interdependent reality. How much time is spent in
confessing other people's sins , politiking, rivalry, interpersonal
conflict, protecting one's backside, masterminding , 2ndguressing?
Like driving with brakes on.
150. Person has to access both intuitive, creative, and visual as well as
logical analytical, verbal. Mental Synergy of left/right brains is best
suited to tackling reality
151. Seek first to understand then be understood.
Some have the spouse-centered, children centered , moneycentered economic,
abundance mentality, scarcity mentality, visual/intuirtive/holistic,
152. Renewal = principle and process that empowers us to move in an upward
spiral of growth and change of continuous improvement.
153. To try to change outward attitudes and behaviors does little good
if we fail to examine the basic paradigms from which those attitudes and
154. What happens if we try to shortcut a natrual growth/development
process? Is positive thinking alone enough for a beginner to beat a
155. Ther are times to teach and not to teach. When the air is charged
teaching is viewed as judgement and reaction. When the relationship is
good, take the person alone quietly and teach has greater impact.
156. A serious problem with reactive language is that it is a self-fulfilling
prophecy. People become reinforced in the paradigm that they are determined.
They produce evidence to support the belief. They feel increasingly victimized
and out of control, not in charge of their life or their destiny. They blame
outside forces - or other people, circumstances even the stars for their
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